Whether they are Young or Older, A Trubble shared should be a Trubble halved, And not be a Trubble Doubled! ALL people have Problems SOME of the time Everything goes into my Magic Hat
For people who feel they to want to run away or go Missing from Home there are plenty of HelpLinks - and for anyone just needing information |
PRESSURES FROM OUTSIDE & WITHIN
Doc Matrix thinks that lots of young people, and older people too are very sensitive to other people’s needs and distress, and they can feel pressured by those – often without a word being spoken
Maybe that goes towards making it so effective Doc Matrix agrees with the idea that there is a ‘people paradox’ liking to belong to groups and mix with others, at the same time as having a streak of independence. It stands to reason that there will be some conflicts between our own needs and those of other people sometimes. Research shows how some of our actions seem illogical. We may not realise how situations develop or change quite radically. People have a tendency to want to be consistent in how they do things or how they are thought of by other people: BUT we often behave differently in different situations, and this seems more relevant to the specific situation than we often think! |
The BBC Website www.bbc.co.uk/headroom shows common ‘myths’ or mis-perceptions about people’s Mental Health and other problems with plenty of LINKS. You can do a Moodscape animation too! Agencies providing a good range of support & information about Disability are listed HERE, or visit the HELPLinks Page
'Doc' has written about how you can Pick-Your-Own Personality Parts & Roles rather than have someone else project their needs or Labelling onto you – hoping that you will comply! He explains about Beliefs or Myths we may use to help us understand and get through things. On another Page here Doc talks about Groups and Cults, how easy it can be to get drawn into something, and how hard it can be to get away from the pressures or the environment itself - even IF one is FREE to do so See Doc's X-Files Page about other People's Needs and how they can be SO BIG that they affect YOU too! DOC MATRIX BOOKLists on ~ BELIEFS & BEHAVIOUR
EXTERNAL LINKS off-site: |
There is room for divergence and potential for conflict both within ourselves and with others we mix with. Conflicts with other people, or feeling alienated can apply to any situation, home, work, college, friends People can feel more secure in a partnership or group setting which can have the advantage – or distinct disadvantage - of making anyone who is not included feel excluded and even more vulnerable But it is not easy to comply with a friend, relative, partner or group on everything. It can be hard and lonely to go against what others say, or want, or do, or what they require of YOU
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DOC MATRIX BookList on PRESSURES & CONTEXT'Abnormal Psychology & Modern Life' by Carson, Butcher, Miller
Also relevant MIND & PERSONALITY Booklist NEW on this SITE: Doc's Notes on Personal Safety
ABUSIVE or damaging THERAPY/HELP |
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Anywhere that we go for help or advice should clearly not make for a worse situation. Doc has prepared some Outline Questions you can use as a basis - or just make up your own It's important to get GOOD HELP or none-at-all ~ SEEKING HELP for YOURSELF
See Doc's 'Let's Reduce Abuse' with more Videos, Books and Links. There is plenty of good Therapy and other help available, but things can go wrong in the situation: People may blame themselves for that, especially if they have already been through bad experiences. You can Make Your Own Theories! Watch Video 'If Your Face Doesn't Fit' |
Dissing has become a part of life, whether that means discounting someone, disrespecting, discrediting, disregarding, dismissing; or being rude or unsupportive. More on this HERE It is a way of Scapegoating. You know the saying 'You are either for us or against us'? Groups often exclude someone - anyone - to suit the majority, as if they feel better to leave someone in the cold. It happens in families too! It helps to see the dynamic for what it is, see if there's a reason, and if you can do anything about it for the time being. This is why it is good to have an ally, a 'friend in court' to see some of it from your point of view. You don't need a specialist, just someone to back you up and give emotional support. Perhaps now you know why groups serve that purpose for the members. And how cults play on people's need to belong, not feel excluded, and feel a sense of meaning and place. Those are natural needs and they can be exploited, for money - or just for kicks. |
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Doc Matrix 'Trubbles' Animated Flash Site (Flash Player 8 or above) is at http://myweb.tiscali.co.uk/docmatrix
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If you have tales which are relevant or funny even, let Doc know by email, making it clear whether they are Confidential or you think they could help others Let Doc know if you find any good Links, or somewhere offering constructive or creative Help |
'Doc Matrix' has Outline Questions about the help people get when they look for someone to help them - or use the Form |
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNflYJrSozM
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxZAykXYeGw
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Is it really worth it? |
Whether it gets called ostracism, rejection, dissing or whatever, the effects of silent treatment can be hard to take. Click for 'Why rejection hurts: a common neural alarm system for physical and social pain' by Naomi Eisenberger and Matthew Lieberman http://www.neuro-psa.org.uk/download/rejection.pdf Ostracism: The Cruel Power of Silence, an All in the Mind radio interview http://www.abc.net.au/rn/science/mind/stories/s1066040.htm Kipling Williams has researched ostracism and its effects, and you can search on Google or any search engine for details on his work. Some books he has authored are available from Amazon:
Also see: 'Don't Take It Personally: The Art of Dealing with Rejection' by Elayne Savage Amazon often have second-hand books which are much cheaper! |
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Scapegoating and ostracism have similarities: Someone or some people can get blamed or ignored Actually it can happen to anyone, and for no particular reason It can be quite hard to change the pattern. Get some support if you can, and read up on it for yourself |
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Gender ID, Gender variance, Transgender, Transition |
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MERMAIDS - www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/index.html Articles: 'I Feel Like My Body Is Wrong, But My Parents Say My Feelings Are Wrong' Rights/resources: www.equalityhumanrights.com/your-rights/transgender Playlist: www.youtube.com/user/survivorway#grid/user/306439400FF0124A |
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