Whether they are Young or Older,
People sometimes have some Problems

A Trubble shared should be a Trubble halved, And not be a Trubble Doubled !

ALL people have Problems
SOME of the time
SOME people have Problems
ALL of the time

Everything goes into my Magic Hat
Where it will be SAFE

DISSING, DISSONANCE, SPLITS, DIVIDES
- How do you cope?

Dissing has become a part of life, whether that means discounting someone, disrespecting, discrediting, disregarding, dismissing; or being rude or unsupportive

It is a way of Scapegoating. You know the saying 'You are either for us or against us'? Groups often exclude someone - anyone - to suit the majority, as if they feel better to leave someone out in the cold.

What happens in Dissing?

People who diss, single someone out to be attacked or cut off, disregarded. discounted, dismissed. A fairly new word for an age-old phenomenon.

It's horrid and stressful being the butt end of people's bad feelings.

And it divides people up up For or Against - or whatever the rules of the particular Game are.

People don't think or behave rationally or kindly, for fear of what could happen to them if they go against the group, or simply if they support you.

It happens fast! Try to stick it out and bide your time.

Often the group's attention turns to someone else.
See what you can manage without that group.

It's not your fault if it happens, or if you cannot handle it alone.

This is a natural phenomenon whipped up by someone's needs or deliberate intent - neither of them is easy to handle.

It's very hard when an individual, perhaps a friend or a family member, turns against you. It feels like the whole wide World!

Find out what you can and see what you learn. Read or watch movies. Wait, see what Doc means.

If later in life you meet other strange behaviours, your experience may shed light on it.

We are all a mixture of needs and wishes which don't quite gel. Splitting or dividing happens in and around us. All too easily we get drawn into other people's mishaps.

Doc says just do the best you can, take solace in what is on these pages - and don't fan the flames.

It helps to see the dynamic for what it is, see if there's a reason, and if you can do anything about it for the time being.

This is why it is good to have an ally, a 'friend in court' to see some of it from your point of view. You don't need a specialist, just someone to back you up and give emotional support.

Perhaps now you know why groups serve that purpose for the members. And how cults play on people's need to belong, not feel excluded, and feel a sense of meaning and place. Those are natural needs and they can be exploited, for money - or just for kicks.

Remember that some people may genuinely
believe in what they are telling you

Logical Fallacies - errors of reasoning or argument -
use a Search Engine or www.logicalfallacies.info/
which categorises fallacies of relevance, ambiguity, or presumption

Multiple Intelligences/ Aptitudes

Nidotherapy - changing someone's environment
rather than trying to change them

Ponerology - wickedness or evil

Psychohistory website of Lloyd deMause at www.psychohistory.com - 'science of historical motivations'; 'emotional origin of social/political behavior of groups & nations'

'Scapegoating, Abuse & One-upmanship' article HERE

Social Engineering for strategies from the computer environment and used more generally, to gain information or to manipulate - often via Social Compliance

See Public Relations, 'Spin', Salesmanship,
Anthropology, Memes - or start from your own interests

You can Make Your Own Theories!
You Don't Have to accept Other People's

On another Page here Doc talks about Groups and Cults, how easy it can be to get drawn into something, and how hard it can be to get away from the pressures or the environment itself -

Even IF one is FREE to

Doc explains about Beliefs or Myths we may use to help us understand and get through things. After all, No-one has ALL the Answers do they!

DO OTHER PEOPLE LABEL YOU?

You really can Pick-Your-Own Personality Parts or Roles rather than have someone else project their needs or Labelling onto you

Hoping that you will comply!

Anywhere that we go for help or advice should clearly not make for a worse situation. Doc has prepared some Outline Questions you can use as a basis - or just make up your own

You can look on the Internet along the lines of ‘therapy culture’, ‘talking cure’, or ‘psychotherapy concern’, and work out where any of it may fit for you

If you do seek Help it should be the right kind - for YOU!

Get GOOD HELP or none-at-all

~ SEEKING HELP for YOURSELF

People have a need to be A PART of what is going on around them, other People and so on, and to keep themselves APART too

And it can lead us into Trouble!

It's important to REALLY
THINK for YOURSELF

DOC MATRIX BOOKLists on

~ ADVERTISING & INFLUENCE
~ CON-TRICKS & SCAMS
~ MAGIC & ILLUSION
~ BELIEFS & BEHAVIOUR
~ X-FILES and W-H-Y?
~ CULTS & GROUPS
~ MIND & PERSONALITY
~ PRESSURES & CONTEXT

EXTERNAL LINKS off-site
~ANGER, STRESS, VIOLENCE {Whorls}
~PRISONERS & FAMILIES HELP {Whorls}
~MISCARRIAGES of JUSTICE {Whorls}
~DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, STALKING, BULLYING {Tansal}
~SEEKING HELP for YOURSELF {Tansal}
~YOUTUBE videos {Cynthialysis}

ABUSIVE or damaging THERAPY/HELP go to Let's Reduce Abuse on this Website about seeking therapy or when help 'goes wrong'

Roll the mouse over the image below

If you have tales which are relevant or funny even, let Doc know by email, making it clear whether they are Confidential or you think they could help others

Let Doc know if you find any good Links, or somewhere offering constructive or creative Help

http://whorls.wufoo.com/forms/doc-matrix/

'Doc Matrix' has Outline Questions about the help people get when they look for someone to help them - or use the Form

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNflYJrSozM

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxZAykXYeGw

Ostracism can cause a real pain!

Is it really worth it?

Whether it gets called ostracism, rejection, dissing or whatever, the effects of silent treatment can be hard to take.

Click for 'Why rejection hurts: a common neural alarm system for physical and social pain' by Naomi Eisenberger and Matthew Lieberman http://www.neuro-psa.org.uk/download/rejection.pdf

Ostracism: The Cruel Power of Silence, an All in the Mind radio interview http://www.abc.net.au/rn/science/mind/stories/s1066040.htm

Kipling Williams has researched ostracism and its effects, and you can search on Google or any search engine for details on his work. Some books he has authored are available from Amazon:

'The Social Outcast: Ostracism, Social Exclusion, Rejection, and Bullying' by Kipling D. Williams, Joseph P. Forgas, William Von Hippel

'Ostracism: The Power of Silence' by Kipling D. Williams

Also see: 'Don't Take It Personally: The Art of Dealing with Rejection' by Elayne Savage

Amazon often have second-hand books which are much cheaper!
You can read up about books and authors without having to buy anything

Gender ID, Gender variance, Transgender, Transition
Some ideas are likely to appeal to you more than others. If you dislike an approach, keep on searching!
Information and resources can be found at:

MERMAIDS - www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/index.html
GIRES - www.gires.org.uk/ where there are free downloadable booklets in pdf format

Articles: 'I Feel Like My Body Is Wrong, But My Parents Say My Feelings Are Wrong'
and www.communitycare.co.uk/Articles/2000/05/24/12569/A-mixed-up-world.htm

Rights/resources: www.equalityhumanrights.com/your-rights/transgender
www.equalityhumanrights.com/your-rights/transgender/transgender-additional-resources

Playlist: www.youtube.com/user/survivorway#grid/user/306439400FF0124A
or visit Survivorway on YouTube www.youtube.com/user/survivorway